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User blog:BadmininaIsEw/Blog: 001
= Let me start off with saying that my blogs will be less heated than my rants, obviously. = So I decided to have two different labels. I will be using labels in all my blogs from now on. Organization is important to me right now. I need structure. I need control. I feel like I've lost a lot of that. = What I be talking about in this blog = * My feelings and mindset. * What happened today. * And then some more casual things. = Okay dokay. Let's get started. = Being called my real name bugs me, you all know that, but now being called Badminina bugs me. I would prefer GAURDIAN, but I will tolerate Badminina and all the various different nicknames. As for my feelings, I feel increasingly alone. I've lost so many friends in these passed few weeks. And when I come here, I don't feel any better. I don't feel like I'm part of this place anymore. Honestly, I'm probably not. I feel like I'm just hated nowadays. Like, whenever I join, maybe one person will greet me with something generic, then a couple minutes later, someone will get mad at me for something. It honestly feels like the Scarf Heroes still haven't changed. You all just reject the people who need help... As for what happened today, I finally broke down. I have two people I can actually call friends. That's it. People have been looking at me funny and treating me like shit more than normal. Then there's the fact that I've had this major crush on a girl, but she lives in a different city, (like, it's hours away from where I live) she's already taken, and then I realized the most important reason... She would never see me the same way. No one would. No one ever has. The guys who know me think I'm weird, a bitch, and annoying. The girls who know me either think I'm gay, a freak, or just friend material. Everyone who doesn't know me thinks I'm just that weird kid who's either really quiet, or really obnoxious. I realized that, along with my lack of friends, and thought: "If all these people think bad of me, isn't it my fault?" I had lost all my friends, even my internet ones, and I realized I would never find the only thing I want in life... Love... So I was extremely quiet. I talked to no one, I was too busy trying not to cry. Eventually, on the bus back to my main school, I broke. I was in the back, and there weren't that many people, so whenever. But I just cried. I felt like a pathetic waste of space. Waste of time. Waste of a human being. I didn't even really feel like a human being. I felt like shit, and I felt like I was shit. So yeah, that happened. Then I decide to come here, and was ignored, so I said something along the lines of: "There is no point in me coming here." Of course, someone had to say something negative. It's funny how it's always the last people I would expect. First Joey, then Astro, now Sheepy. Who's next? Maxi? Left? Whatever. That's enough about today and my feelings. Casual stuff. Ummm... I've been getting a lot better at reads in Smash. Y'know, predicting your opponents next action(s). I think I'm doing okay in school for the most part. Although I do owe a lot in Geometry. I'm hyped for the Monstercat release coming out tomorrow. Soulero and Eminence made a song together. It's hopefully gonna kick ass. Kick ass in the smoothest possible way. I really want to get the Fantasy Life Origin Island DLC. Fantasy Life is an amazing game. I would DEFINITELY recommend it. The DLC adds in some extra story, and a lot of new weapons, armor, etc. It even adds another life class. It's an RPG game btw. I need to spend more time with my dog. She's 11. That's pretty old. I've had her since I was seven. I love her so much~♥ I'll actually show you a video of me playing with her. Young little me, running around, being chased by my amazing dog. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hdO2qKBKkrA That's all I've got to say for now. Thank you for reading this far. ~The teen behind the screen, GΛURDIΛN Category:Blog posts